Wounds
by denytheworld
Summary: Tsunade reflects on the wounds that will never heal. Team 7/Sannin


**Title: ** Wounds  
**Characters: **Tsunade, Sakura, Sannin&Team7

I'm a healer. A world renowned medic-nin, actually.

As a healer, I know my role in the world. I heal the wounds of my allies.

But despite my great works and the praise and admiration I've garnered throughout my years, I have failed in healing.

As a healer, I can only stop the bleeding and patch things up. It is up to the patient to see through with the healing in its entirety. I can never make them rest and recover fully. They're always eager to return to the fray, to the fight, to the heady rush of adrenaline.

It's no surprise to me when they come back. Again. and again. and again. Until one day, even I can't fix them. They're too far gone.

That was the case with Jiraiya. I grew up with that pervert and I've healed him so many times, I've lost track. First, they were minor wounds, scrapes and bruises as our training started. But eventually, those wounds were large, angry, and lethal. Orochimaru always did inflict those wounds. He never pulled his punches and had no qualms against fighting dirty.

Jiraiya was broken when he left, naturally. With Orochimaru's departure, a huge chunk of Jiraiya's heart was gone as well and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't patch it up. Jiraiya didn't rest and he left once more. By the time he was ready for me to finish his healing, I was gone as well. But when I returned, the healing process began. Painstakingly slow, but it happened. He left for news, but he returned. He returned with more damage, more wounds, but I tried. He left and returned, and I always healed him to the best of my capabilities. I tell him to rest. He hushes me, and he's gone once more - through those village gates, while I watch. He didn't come back. No man can last long without his heart.

I tried with Kakashi as well. Back when I was in the village, back when I was much younger, I healed him. He was an ANBU and always returned to the village in some state of injury. I healed him. He left once more, to fulfill his duty, to honour his father, his sensei, his teammates. Rin was never happy when he left, but she never stopped him just like how I never stopped Jiraiya. _Protect Rin, _Obito had made him promise. Kakashi was merely fulfilling his promise. But Rin died. And he shattered. No jutsu, no potion, no salve or surgery could save what was left of his mind.

Minato was left, and the Yondaime was a slow and meticulous healer. Too slow, in my opinion. If it were _me_, I would - but it wasn't me. It had hurt my pride as a healer, but I knew when to accept it. I could heal him physically but Minato was the only one who could heal him. I forced myself to step aside and observe. But when Minato died, Kakashi was alone once more. I did force myself into his life then. If not for him then for Minato, the little blond boy I was so fond of. I forced Kakashi to stay - if only to heal his broken leg. I pushed papers to make sure he isn't released from the hospital until he starts eating again, but that wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. He's out and on the battlefield two months after his sensei's death.

When Kakashi got his team of genin, it seemed to have done him good. I returned to find him with Minato - no, _Naruto_. The dark-haired boy, much like his old ANBU teammate, Itachi - _Sasuke_. And this newcomer. Sakura. She had no link to his past, she wasn't his sensei's legacy or his teammate's family. Those two, they were his family. This new girl...Sakura, who was she? Nevertheless, she struggled and found herself in the way.

She tried to better herself. I saw herself in me, an older me from a long, long time ago. She tried to heal - but all she did was ask more from her brothers. Sasuke had to protect her, Naruto had to serve her. Kakashi...to this day, he still didn't know what to do with her. So, she tried to better herself, and she came to me.

Despite my relatively young appearance, I'm old. Ever since I was in the Academy, they've told me that I should be lucky to see the age of thirty. I'm already living on borrowed time. After Jiraiya's death, I'm even more aware of that fact. I taught her. I'm still teaching her. Unlike Shizune, who I taught everything - from pain, discipline, and healing, I taught Sakura healing and the ability to force them to submit to her. Shizune dealt in poisons, in pressure points, torture and experimentation. But Sakura, I want her to heal. This is why I'm much easier on her than on Shizune. Sakura needs to know softness, kindness, patience.

Unlike me, she will not be much of a great medic. She won't develop poisons, discover ways to break a man's body, experiment on soldiers, or be the cause of biological warfare. No, she won't be like me or Shizune. She won't be a medic.

She'll be a healer. She'll touch the hearts of many and heal those wounds I've failed to heal. The wounds beneath the surface. That is my will and as my student, she will follow it.

Or so I thought.

But she turned out to be like me and Shizune. She can crush mountains. She can make poisons. She can kill. She's also worse than me. She can cause so much pain and fail to heal them to its fullest. She no longer acknowledges Kakashi as part of her team. She sees Sasuke, not Naruto. I see Naruto struggle under a burden of a lifetime's promise and Kakashi struggle with the loss of another team, another family. It isn't unexpected when I see Kakashi toting his old mask - the Hound. I merely sigh and sign his papers. When Naruto returns, broken and mangled - but still living to fulfill his promise, I look away. I don't see my younger brother, I don't see Dan in this child anymore. I don't even see Jiraiya in him. I see Kakashi - abandoned by his team, one member at a time. Wounded and dying, he'll try again and again. Except, Sakura does not use the strength I've given her to stop him. Instead, she pushes him forward. This cycle will continue.

These wounds, they'll never heal.


End file.
